As a mom, we are a lot like the Energizer bunny. We keep going and going and going, because we are responsible for so many different things. But that constant going and doing can wear us down mentally, emotionally and physically. We must make room in our days for rest. We need our own version of a timeout.
Women, especially moms, are known for how well we multi-task and juggle several balls in the air at the same time.
But no one, not even machines, can run 24/7 without taking a break.
Yet, isn’t that what we often expect from ourselves? Keep moving, keep hustling, keep juggling with no rest and don’t let anything drop.
It’s unrealistic, unreasonable and unhealthy for us to live like that.
We must rest our minds and our coming and going. We need to put ourselves in a timeout.
Rest is not taking a nap or a vacation, though you may need both. In order to truly pause, we need to find margin.
Amy at Encouraging Moms at Home says this about margin:
“Reading a great book is not really margin. Reading a great book is more of an escape. You get away from your place and forget who you are and live in someone else’s moment. And trust me, I have enjoyed my fair share of fictional reading material. I’m not saying books are bad. I’m just saying books are a fabulous break — but that’s not margin.
Taking a walk is not always margin. If your walk is filled with thoughts about the cares of this world and the cares of your day, that’s not margin. You can certainly purpose to have margin on your walk but that’s just the thing. In order to experience margin you have to purposely step away mentally from all the stress. All the stuff. Let it go.
If you do not have time for margin, you are doing too many things.”
But how can a mom make room for margin? What does rest look like in our everyday life?
Here are my top tips for giving yourself a timeout every day.
Ways to Give Yourself a Timeout
- Start slowly.
In the beginning, taking 30 minutes to do something non-productive is going to feel wasteful and stress-inducing. Instead, start with 5 minutes. Do something completely unproductive that you enjoy like listening to music or sitting on the back porch. - Do absolutely nothing.
Isn’t this what we make our kids do? “Sit in that chair and don’t move.” We don’t let them have toys, talk to anyone or watch TV. What would it look like if your child put you in timeout? They would take your phone, your to-do list, and your car and make you sit still in silence. Honestly, this is really uncomfortable for me. I am so accustomed to constant noise, movement and thinking, that trying to stop doing those things feels impossible, and a bit scary. But we can start with 1 minute and build up from there. Focus on your breathing. In and out. In and out.This sounds silly, but deep breathing is so good for your mental and physical health.
- Learn how to play again.
We all loved to play as kids. (My favorites were playing with Barbies and pretend food.) But as we grow up and get busier, play time usually falls by the wayside. We think play isn’t really important, so it’s easy to cut out. But play recharges us, helps us be more creative and lifts our spirits. Make play an important part of your life. Rediscover what you love to do. - Take a “sick day.”
We all know moms don’t really get sick days. But it is probably possible for you to block out a couple of hours for rest. Don’t do any work, household chores, phone scrolling or anything on your to-do list. Give yourself permission to do anything you want. - Arrive everywhere 5 minutes early or stay 5 minutes afterward.
Not only will you feel less hurried and stressed, you’ll also have 5 minutes of quiet to pray, listen to music, enjoy your surroundings, or think of things you are grateful for. - Choose one thing to say no to.
I think we all need to here this: It’s okay to say no. More than that, it is good to say no. Pick something to scratch off of your to-do list. It could be making dinner. It could be making homemade cookies for the bake sale. It could be putting away the laundry. You have just created room for a timeout.
If you were waiting for someone to give you permission to rest, now you have it.
You will never be able to love your family and the people in your life well if you are constantly in motion. Commit to regular rest and schedule it like an appointment you cannot miss.
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