We are 30 days into the New Year. So, how are those goals coming? I’ve gotta be honest; I only set two goals for January, and one went well and one not so much. So what’s a girl to do when a goal isn’t going so well? Give up and lose all hope? No way.
Instead, think about these three reasons you’re struggling to accomplish your goal.
- Limiting beliefs are holding you back.
Tony Robbins coined the term limiting beliefs, which are things you believe to be true about yourself, about others or about the world that limit you in some way. So if you regularly have thoughts about how you’ve failed at this goal so many times before or feel like you will never succeed, you are struggling with limiting beliefs. The way to overcome a limiting belief is to take that thought captive (2 Cor 10:5) and replace it with truth found in the Bible. Repeat your truth verses over and over to retrain your brain.
- Lack of accountability.
Remember that quote, “No man is an island?” I sure didn’t say that. I am independent to a fault, and it has taken me years to learn the value of community. One of the benefits of having friendships is having accountability. No matter what your goal is, there will be times when you want to quit, when you feel overwhelmed or when you need guidance. It’s during those times that you must have accountability to advise you and encourage you. If you have a health goal, get a friend to do it with you or hire a trainer. If you have a financial goal, get a financial advisor or take a Financial Peace University class. If you have a spiritual goal, join a Bible study group at church or find a mentor. Accountability is the secret sauce to accomplishing a goal.
- You are doing it wrong.
You are doing it for someone else or because you “should.”
If you are trying to lose weight because your doctor told you to, that motivation probably won’t get you through a chocolate craving. If you are trying to stop impulse buying because you know you probably should, that won’t be enough to help you pass up the great deal at Target. Your “why” has to be powerful. Weak motivation produces weak results.You are doing it the wrong way.
I live near Memphis and my parents live in western Kentucky. There are several ways to get from my house to my parents. I prefer to drive I-40, so I can drive fast and have multiple lanes to use; my dad prefers taking back roads so he can enjoy the scenery and avoid city traffic. Both routes still get us to the destination, but we each choose the path we prefer. And the only way to know that I prefer interstate driving is to try the back roads. Keep this in mind when you are trying to accomplish a goal. Try different routes or strategies and see what works best for you. It may not be the same thing your friend is doing, and that’s ok.You are doing it at the wrong time.
If you have a big life event going on like having a baby, starting a new job or moving, now is not the time to work on a goal. Just focus on the main event that is happening. Your goals will be there when your life settles down.
You’re using the wrong measurement of success.
You might want to rethink goals that involve losing 20 lbs., building your retirement account to $50,000 or getting your child into the best school in your area. We can’t always control the results, but we can control our own behaviors like exercising four times per week, investing 15% of your income or taking five dates with your child before he starts kindergarten. That’s how you make your goal achievable.
No matter what your January looked like, you did not fail if you haven’t quit. We all need to change the way we think about failure. Failure isn’t something to be avoided at all costs. Failure is a great thing. Johnny Cash said, “You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.”