Monica and Chandler.
Jack and Rebecca.
Pam and Jim.
Meredith and Derek.
Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky.
All classic TV couples, and all examples of the fact that marriage can be as wonderful as your wildest hopes, and some days, harder than you’ve ever imagined.
If you want a good marriage, it’s something you can’t just hope for. As John Maxwell says, “Hope is not a strategy.”
My friend and fellow blogger Trenda of steadfasthearts.org agrees with me. In fact, helping women invest in their marriages is something she is passionate about, and I’m happy to have her share on that subject this week.
Guest post from Trenda of steadfasthearts.org
Marriage can be tough; it requires continual work.
Perfection is not necessary, or obtainable, but small intentional moments are. Small, intentional steps will lead us to an improved marriage.
And, though many of us do want to improve our marriages, we are distracted by all the many activities and to-dos that take up our time.
Fortunately, improving your marriage doesn’t require a ton of time, just a willing and intentional heart.
Even small actions taken intentionally throughout the day can go a long way to creating the marriage you want.
10 Ways to Improve Your Marriage
Here are a few ideas that require minimal time, but offer huge rewards in the way of building a beautiful marriage.
1. Pray for your husband.
Pray as you go throughout your day as you do everyday activities. When you wash his clothes, pray God will clothe him with protection and wisdom. When you pick up his shoes, pray he will walk with God.
2. Speak life into your husband.
Words of affirmation and encouragement can completely change your husband’s attitude and bless your marriage. Maybe your husband doesn’t deserve it, but give it a try. Find one thing each day to praise him for. Leave him a note encouraging him or wishing him a good day. Or, text him to let him know you are thinking about or praying for him. Speak life so that your marriage can have life!
3. Praise him in front of others.
When you lift your husband up in front of others, it makes him feel like Superman. When you make him feel like Superman…he is going to want to be superman for you. The more you praise him, the more encouraged he feels. The more encouraged he feels, the harder he will try to be the husband God has called him to be.
4. Meet him at the door.
My husband once told me this is the greatest thing I can do. When I meet him at the door when he gets home, I am telling him that he is a priority, that I care about him, and that all is well with us. If he beats you home, find him and give him a kiss rather than starting dinner first.
5. Find ways to speak his love language.
The Five Love Languages Book is the absolute best marriage book a couple can read. You will have to invest a little time in reading it, a little time in finding ways to meet his needs, and possibly a little money to show your love. But the payoff will be worth it.
6. Date him.
I know it is hard to find time alone, but even small pockets of time that make a big difference. Go for a drive, the kids will be contained and semi-quiet so you can talk. Pop popcorn after the kids are in bed and watch a movie. Or play a card game and eat chocolate after the kids are asleep. One of my favorite things to do is find marriage questions on Pinterest to ask one another. It always makes us laugh and helps our conversations go deeper.
7. Read marriage books.
“Read?! Are you crazy? I have no time to read!”
I get it! But, take five minutes a day (during lunch, in the car line, in the bathroom, etc.) to read a quality marriage book and just see how it blesses your heart and in turn blesses your marriage.
Here are a few of my favorite suggestions:
- The Five Love Languages– Best marriage book ever!!! Read it with your husband if he is willing to.
- When a Woman Inspires Her Husband– One of my absolute all-time favorite books!!! It changed the way I viewed my role as a wife.
- 52 Things a Husband Needs from His Wife– This is an easy, quick read with lots of practical suggestions.
- The Excellent Wife– This is a longer book with lots of scripture throughout. But it is a good handbook to look through.
8. Do a devotion or read the Bible together as husband and wife.
My husband Trey and I are not always consistent in doing this, but when we do, it really does bless our marriage. Trey is NOT a reader; he hates it! However, he doesn’t mind listening to me read and then we can talk about it and grow from it.
Here are a few of my favorite devotionals:
- One Year Love Language Devotional– This plays off of the book “The Five Love Languages” Definitely a good one to have and the devotions are super short!
- Hope for Each Morning and Evening by Billy Graham– This is not a marriage devotional, but it will draw you into scripture and closer to Christ. The devotions are also super quick and easy reads.
- The Navigator’s Council Beating Fifty Percent– This one is awesome! It makes talking and praying for each another easier.
9. Have alone time with God.
If you want a thriving marriage, you must have a good relationship with Christ yourself. We can only be better wives if we consistently read scripture, pray, and listen to God.
I heard it explained this way. Your relationship is like a triangle, with Christ at the top and you and your husband in the bottom corners. The more you draw closer to Christ as individuals, the closer to you get to one another.
10. Dream with him.
When he talks about things he wants or dreams he has, don’t shoot them down or laugh. LISTEN to him and dream WITH HIM. Talk about more than who’s picking the kids up or what’s for dinner. Initiate conversation, ask him questions, encourage him with your words. Become best friends again, just have fun together!
I encourage you to see the importance of marriage, not only for you and your husband, but for your children and the example you set for others.
If you are interested in getting more advice on how to improve your marriage, check out my FREE printable: 10 Days to an Improved Marriage. 10 days, 10 quick ways to make your spouse feel loved and revive your marriage.
Trenda is married to her middle school sweetheart and a mom to three young children. Her passion is helping others to walk faithfully with Christ and make the most of the time they have. She blogs at steadfasthearts.org to encourage women to live intentional and joyful lives even in the midst of chaos.
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