I think we would all agree that marriage is important. None of us want to be a part of the statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce.
But do our actions– our everyday lives– show our husband that our marriage is one of the most important things to us?
Honestly, I’m a bit afraid to ask my husband if he feels like the most important thing in my life (on this earth).
Would he say yes? Or would he say that our daughter seems more important? Or my to-do list?
We have a good marriage, but making it even better is one of my goals this year. And, if you are with me, I thought we could both benefit from this list of things we can do to be a better wife this year.
- Spend time away from the kids.
My husband has a hard time having a serious conversation because our daughter is usually hollering for his attention. So I know I miss out on a lot of things he would like to tell me. That’s one reason why having time away from the kids regularly should be a priority. At the beginning of each month, schedule at least one occasion- lunch, coffee, dinner, whatever works- that you can be together solo. If you have the time and money to go on a short getaway by yourselves sometime during the year, even better.
- Make sure he has time to do activities he enjoys.
Men spend the majority of their time at work where someone is always asking them to do something and go home to wives and children who want them to do something. Make sure your husband has time to himself to do things he would like to do. That may be watching sports, going out with guy friends or playing video games. Don’t write these things off as him being lazy. He needs time to recharge just like you do.
- Be his cheerleader at home and in front of others.
If you aren’t being your husband’s cheerleader, no one else is. Although they are not likely to tell us outright, husbands need our verbal applause. Your husband will feel like a zero or a hero depending on how you speak to him. And even better if you praise him in front of others.
- Show interest in his work.
Where women place a lot of value on our relationships, men highly value their work and in their role as providers. Even if you don’t really understand what your husband does, ask him often about his work and be interested in his projects, his coworkers and his thoughts.
- Pick your battles.
No one likes to be married to someone who tells them all the things they do wrong 24/7. Proverbs 21:19 says, “It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.” Just like you would with your children, pick your battles with your husband carefully. Some things aren’t worth the toll it takes on your husband’s confidence or patience.
- Initiate sex regularly.
You’re tired. You have a million things to do. You feel fat and ugly. Trust me, I get it. But sex is a HUGE deal to our husbands. And don’t do it begrudgingly; they will know. See how surprised and pleased your husband will be when you initiate it.
These are great ideas, but ideas are worthless unless you put them into action. Set reminders to help you remember to do some of these things. If you struggle with nagging, write a message on your hand to “pick your battles” so you see it frequently.
And if you want to know how to love your husband in the ways he’ll appreciate most, check out this post about finding out his love language.
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