My husband and I were having a conversation recently about vacations. His thought was that we shouldn’t expect to have an enjoyable vacation with a 5 and 1 ½ year old.
Because vacations with little kids are trips, not vacations, am I right?
He estimated it would be another 3 years or so before we could actually go anywhere and enjoy ourselves, so why bother until then.
Also recently, we got into an argument over an issue that has popped up occasionally, but repeatedly, over the course of our marriage. It is the same argument, and it ends the same way every time. After our argument, I spent some time going over it in my mind (anyone else replay arguments) and decided the best way to deal with this issue would be to avoid the topic completely, because we will never agree.
This, my friends, is a defeatist attitude.
In effect, this is saying, “Bring on the failure, negativity, and gloom. I’ve accepted that this is the way it is, nothing will ever change, and I’m going to quit trying.”
Uh, I’m calling bullcrap.
When something is important, like a healthier marriage or closer family relationships, we need to dig our heels in and fight.
We cannot give up and resign ourselves to mediocrity.
Accepting mediocrity is embracing ok.
I don’t want an okay marriage.
I don’t want okay health.
I don’t want okay relationships with my girls.
I don’t want okay faith.
I don’t want okay friendships.
Let’s get real. It is always easier to complain or ignore problems than it is to deal with them.
But if you were the type of person who was ok with ok, I doubt you would be reading this.
So if you find yourself facing a situation that leaves you feeling defeated or thinking things will never change, don’t give up. Instead, take action.
In James Clear’s fantastic book called Atomic Habits, he talks about the power of small improvements:
“The difference a tiny improvement can make over time is astounding. Here’s how the math works out: if you can get 1 percent better each day for one year, you’ll end up thirty-seven times better by the time you’re done.”
James Clear, Atomic Habits
See, it starts with just one, tiny baby step.
Think about the situation that has you feeling defeated.
What can you do to improve the situation by 1%?
Are there:
- Conversations you need to have
- Thought patterns that you need to change
- A habit you can start or break
- Expectations you should adjust
- Apologies you need to make
- A new solution you can try
Find that 1% improvement. Then do it.
And keep building on it with another 1% improvement until something changes.
That vacation we were talking about? I booked it anyway.
And that argument I mentioned? I apologized for my part and am trying to think before I say something that is hurtful.
So, what about you?
Let these words give you strength and encourage you: Even when you’re tired, or discouraged, or hurt, don’t give up.
Stay in the ring and fight for a better life.
“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”
Galatians 6:9
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