We’ve all heard that dating our husbands is one of the secrets of having a good marriage. You know, the whole “pursue your spouse after marriage” thing. But dating gets a lot harder after kids come along. You still want to date your husband, but it can be difficult if you live away from family like we do. For a while, I wasn’t sure it was possible to date without a sitter.
In some seasons, hiring a babysitter just isn’t the right choice for your family. Maybe you have very young or challenging kids and finding a sitter you are comfortable with is next to impossible. Maybe you cannot afford a sitter right now. Maybe you don’t know how to find a good sitter.
Whatever the reason, there is a way to have a date without hiring a sitter. It may not look exactly the same, like getting dressed up and going out for dinner and movie, but it is still possible.
Here are a few ways that we’ve discovered to still get some quality time together without a sitter.
7 Ways You Can Still Date Without a Sitter
- Go on a lunch date.
During the school year, lunch dates are our go-to. My oldest daughter is in preschool from 11:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. three days a week, so it is perfect for us to pick one of those days and meet somewhere close to my husband’s work for lunch. My youngest is 15 months old and still quiet and pretty easy to take anywhere, as long as you are willing to share part of your lunch.
2. Take a drive.
Admittedly, this idea would work better if we owned a limo with a partition in between the front and back seats, but we work with what we have. We buckle everyone into the car and take a short drive, so my hubby and I can actually have a conversation without being interrupted. The secret is giving my oldest her Kindle Fire to watch along the way. She is the talker of the group, and that’s pretty much the only way we can guarantee she’ll be quiet.
3. Try after-bed or early-morning at-home dates.
Whether you are an early bird or night owl, there is an option here that will work for you. Our girls get up at 7:15 a.m. and are in bed by 8 p.m., so we can get up earlier for some quality time or stay up later. After bed is a great time to watch a movie and early in the morning is great for working out together or just sitting outside enjoying some coffee.
4. Go outside.
Most kids can find a way to entertain themselves outside. Whether it’s riding bikes, going for a walk, playing basketball or jumping on the trampoline, find a way to keep your kids occupied and enjoy some time with your hubby.
5. Take advantage of naptime/quiet time.
In the Conway house, our rule is that, if you are too old to nap, you must go play quietly in your room for a couple of hours. During the week, this gives me a chance to either work or have some self-care time. On the weekend, this is the perfect time for Dad and I to have some time to ourselves.
6. Use drop-in childcare or gym childcare.
Try out this mantra: I will use any childcare options available to me. In some areas, they have drop-in childcare facilities. Don’t get weirded out by this. The one we have near us has cameras so you can look online and see what your child is up to any time you want. And don’t forget about the childcare that’s included with memberships you already pay for like the gym. Take those kiddos to the gym, grab a smoothie if your gym sells them, and enjoy some people-watching with your man.
7. Make the most of after-school activities and practices.
Kids have after-school practice because they need to prepare for their sports or activities. They need the practice, not you. You may not even really need to attend practices. But if you do, make it something to look forward to for you and your hubby. Grab a to-go dinner that you both enjoy and spend the time playing a game, watching a TV show together or chatting about your day. One of the resources we like for meaningful conversation starters is this book by marriage expert, Gary Chapman.
Whether you date with or without using a sitter, the most important thing is not to give up on dating as married people. It is so easy to get sucked into just going about the business of life, raising a family together, and forget why you like each other. Trust me, I’ve definitely found myself thinking of my husband as a roommate more than a partner.
So, I’d love to hear, what is a fun thing you liked to do with your husband before you had kids? Send me an email at defeatingbusy@gmail.com or leave a comment on our Facebook page.
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