I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but work is very important to men. I realized this when my husband was laid off a couple of years ago. We have faced some hard things, but I had never seen him rattled until then.
I believe this vulnerability around work comes from their desire to be good providers. In her book, For Women Only, Shaunti Feldhahn surveyed a group of men and said men are driven to provide. “This appears to be nothing less than an obsession— similar to a women’s obsessive body insecurity.”
That is pretty serious since we know how much we think about our bodies and our appearance.
Since work is such an important part of our husband’s lives, one way that we can really make a difference is to support them in their work.
6 Ways to Support Your Husband’s Work
1. Ask about his projects.
Though I can’t say engineering interests me, my hubby does interest me, so I try to ask him about what he is working on. I’m not sure he even expects me to understand, but he just wants someone to listen to his thoughts on the latest meeting, rant about a co-worker, stumbling block or good news.
2. Represent well at work functions.
Another thing Shaunti mentioned in her book is that women should “be especially careful in front of other men to only say glowing things. Men judge each other if their wives don’t show respect for them.” It may seem a little Stepford Wives, but our husbands need us to represent them well by making an effort with our appearance, making conversation, and praising them in front of their co-workers.
3. Know his co-workers’ names.
It is hard to be engaged in your husband’s work stories if you have to keep interrupting him to ask who he’s talking about. Try to remember the names and positions of the key people he works with, like his boss, his boss’s boss, and the people on his team.
4. Praise him for his work ethic, intelligence, wins, etc.
Because work means so much to men, then praising them in this area will be so appreciated. Look for opportunities to tell him what a good provider he is and what a good job he is doing, perhaps after a project is finished, on his work anniversary, or when he has a performance review. Regardless of what is going on at work, he will know that the people at home think he is a hero.
5. Pray for him.
For some reason, this one feels the hardest to me because I’m not really sure how to pray for my husband’s work. So this sample prayer from Nitty Gritty Love is a great resource that digs deep into what our men deal with at work.
6. Help him build relationships.
If there is one thing that women excel at, it’s relationships. This is definitely an area where we can help our husbands. We can do things like buying a card for them to take on Boss’s Day, occasionally sending in a baked good for his co-workers, and encouraging him to invite someone over for dinner. If your husband is in a leadership role, he would greatly benefit from your help with employee appreciation and team building activities.
Even though we don’t go to work with our husbands, we can be a huge support for them in their work.
This week, talk to your husband about these ideas and get his opinion on what would help him most. Who knows, maybe this will open the door to him asking how he can support you!
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