Do you want to improve your marriage, but all you can think about are the things you’d like to change about your husband?
What does your husband do that annoys you most? Tune you out when you’re talking to him? Snore? Leave dirty towels and clothes on the floor? I bet you could come up with an answer in less than a minute.
And you aren’t alone. This article on BestLifeOnline.com lists 30 things husbands do that annoy their wives. My favorites?
- Acting like a baby when they get the sniffles. (Called a man cold.)
- Staying in the bathroom a ridiculous amount of time. (What are they doing in there?)
- Loving the wrong movies. (Exhibit A: alien movies, Exhibit B: Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.)
- Being a bit too attached to his mom. (Oh my gosh, yes.)
I don’t get mad at my husband often. He is a pretty easy person to live with and to be married to. But the last time I did get mad at him, it was because I felt like he didn’t help out enough at home.
And when I get really fired up, I start noticing other things that annoy me. By that point, if he looks at me the wrong way, I’m mad about it.
Has that ever happened to you? Once you are angry about one thing, you just start seeing more and more?
Author Andy Andrews said in his book, The Noticer:
Remember, whatever you focus upon, increases…When you focus on the things you need, you’ll find those needs increasing. If you concentrate your thoughts on what you don’t have, you will soon be concentrating on other things that you had forgotten you don’t have– and feel worse! If you set your mind on loss, you are more likely to lose…But a grateful perspective brings happiness and abundance into a person’s life.”
Just pause for a second…
Isn’t that so true?
And if you know what you focus on really does increase, let’s use the principle to improve your marriage.
Open your notes app or grab a sheet of paper. (Don’t worry, I’ll wait.)
Now, let’s create a list of things that we appreciate about our husbands. Let’s catch them doing something right.
Think of all the drama and aggravation your husband deals with at work. The unnecessary meetings. The co-worker who drives him crazy. Then, write down that he supports you staying at home while he goes to work.
Remember how he steps in when your patience is wearing thin at bedtime, and your child just came out for the third time to ask you a question. Then, write down that he is a great partner in parenting.
Write down the big things and write down the little things.
Like when he saves you the last brownie because he knows they are your favorite. Or when he takes your car to get the oil changed. Or when he thanks you for making dinner.
If you train yourself to look for good things, you will begin to notice even more good things.
Noticing leads to appreciation. Appreciation leads to gratitude. And gratitude leads to contentment.
I challenge you to build this list for one week and see if you notice your marriage is improving. Email me or send me a direct message on Facebook or Instagram to let me know how your experiment worked out.
More Posts You May Like: